When I married, I wanted to hone and polish every word and every line in the ceremony until the whole thing sparkled. My resume includes a degree in philosophy, so I geek out about the meanings of the words. Here, in our marriage ceremony, was my chance to shine!
My dear husband is an agreeable sort and went along with my wishes as long as he got to say the vow he wanted to say. He’s also (in his own words) rabidly antireligious and wanted that respected in our ceremony.
We both knew what we wanted. And we’re articulate enough to write our own vows. You’d think that would be an officiant’s dream job, as the script is written and we understand the process. Easy peasy! But was it? Not so much.
In the end, not one single word I wrote made it into the ceremony and we had prayers to start and to finish. Harrumph.
The love my husband and I share is bigger than one single ceremony. Still, I was appalled that our officiant came in and defined for us how we would be married.
I’m a firm believer in leaving things better than how we find them, so I decided to become a wedding officiant myself to make sure that others have a clear option when they want to get married in their own, unique way.